The Old Days

Mommy lesson #3 - you will miss your husband (or significant other, to be politically correct)

The first night we were home with Grace, I remember looking across the room at Pat and bursting into tears. I thought to myself  "it is never going to be just the two of us ever again". Don't get me wrong. I was so happy to be a mommy. I loved that little girl more than life itself. But my world was rocked. Everything was different and it would never be the same. That's one hell of a pill to swallow.

So as happy as you are, you most definitely go through a little mourning period. You have to mourn the loss of your kidless self, the loss of the relationship you once knew, and the loss of sleeping peacefully through the night. OK, that last one is a little shallow...but screw that! I miss my sleep.

On the bright side, you do realize a whole new level to your relationship. Between the exhaustion, hormones and crying infant I think it is safe to say that the first few weeks of having a newborn are a trying time in your marriage. But you get through it, you make it to the other side. You gain patience. You enjoy the adult company. You learn to appreciate each other. And you become a team. It was after having my kids I realized that not only did I have a husband, I had a partner. Child rearing had become our business and we were in serious negotiations.

However, there are still nights that I sit across the room from him, holding crying babies, trying to wind down from the day and just stare at him. I miss him. I miss who we used to be.

But then I think about how far we've come. I think about the man he has become. How his daughter melts him and how he is so in love with his son. He loves us unconditionally. I mean, Christ, the man has seen me naked, strapped to a table and sliced open to birth a child...and he still loves me. So I guess that old adage is true...one door closes, another opens. Relationships change.

And in time...those kids will grow up and leave us (God willing). And we will have each other again. Until then, we will keep having conversations over screaming kids, cross paths during our morning craziness, and savor our very rare date night.