It Was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times...

Pat looked at me the other night and asked me "How long can we keep up this pace?.

 I was in the middle of cleaning up dinner and keeping Grace entertained. Pat was feeding Patrick his nighttime bottle after scarfing down his own dinner. I was running on a couple of hours of sleep after working the overnight shift the night before. It was a rare night that Pat was actually even home. His travel schedule has been so crazy, it feels like he is gone more than he is home. And I am trying to fit in three shifts at work all around the kid's and my husband's schedule. Oh yeah...and sleep for a few seconds here and there.

Was it Sir Paul McCartney that said "All you need is love."? Awwww...how sweet Paul. But let's all remember you are a freaking bazillionaire. Now here's a big can of shut the hell up. Some of us have to work to make a living. Work hard, and make sacrifices.

So, how long can we keep this pace up...who knows? But we will as long as we have to. I have gotten used to the fact that I am going to be chronically enhausted for the forseeable future. I look around at my shit-pit of a house that is cluttered with toys and various other baby crap, the schedule I keep, the bills that pile up and I'll admit it..I totally throw myself a pity party now and then.

Then I have a day like I had yesterday. A day where both of my beautiful babies woke up smiling and happy. There was minimal whining, lots of hugs and kisses and bellows of laughter. Some days, the pieces all just come together. I didn't try to clean everything in my house like a madwoman. I didn't check my email or even go on Facebook (gasp!). I played with my kids. We went to Grace's art class, had lunch with some friends at McDonalds (fancy, I know). And then Grace, Patrick and I all piled into the big bed and napped, all snuggled together. Patrick and Gracie fell asleep holding hands. It brought tears to my eyes.

P.S. - I know the whole cute hand holding thing likely started off as Grace fending off Patrick's swats to her face, but it's the end result that counts, right?

I laid there staring at my two babies who are growing so damn fast. Grace is such a little lady. She is potty trained now, her favorite things to play with are no longer Sesame Street plush toys, but Barbie dolls, and she has all but given up her pacifier (almost). Patrick gets longer and chubbier everyday! He is starting to say "Dada" and "Baba". He is sitting up and eating food and I see his babyhood slipping out of my grasp too. I know it goes all too fast.

I spend my days running in circles, treading water and barely scraping by.

Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.