Gone, Baby, Gone

I feel as though I am sitting at a serious crossroads here, guys.

More babies...or no more babies??

So lately, I have had the baby bug (big time). Just ask my husband who has been tormented by me. He is holding strong at a firm "HELL TO THE NO" at the request for another baby. He's done. Even when I told him it could just be my babyand he wouldn't have to do anything. :-)

 I have been feeling this sense of urgency about having another baby. I can't really explain why. I am happy and content with my two beautiful children. And God knows I am plenty busy! A four year old and an almost two year old keep my days plenty full and overly exciting.

While both Pat and I are working, we are also working hard at running our house, keeping our marriage afloat and giving the very best of ourselves to our kids who deserve only the very best of everything.

Oh, and then there's the cooking, laundry, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, laundry, paying bills, laundry, and laundry and laundry and laundry.

And Facebook. But that's just between you and me.

Actually, now that I think about it...how do I even have any down time to think about having another baby?!

So could I add even more work to this mix? In truth, I feel like I have finally mastered caring for Grace and Patrick together. I have a routine. We are scheduled. And for those of you who know me...I am a girl who loves her organization and routine.  I know what each day is going to bring, where will be and at what time. Some may call this boring.

And to you I say "NAH NAH NAH NAH POO POO"

So now that I am in the point of my life where things are easier, a baby would rock our world. And we would be back to being up all night, being at the mercy of a baby's schedule, feeding and diapers and crying.

But I am wanting it...and kinda desperately.

Am I just a "baby person"? Ummmm...DUH! I LOVE babies. I love holding them, and the smell of them, their little coos,  their cute little hands and feet.

Oh yeah...have I not mentioned that before? I have a thing for baby hands and feet. I have pictures of just my kid's little baby feet and hands hanging up in my house.

Don't you judge me.

For the past 5 years, I have been wrapped up in babies. I have either been pregnant or taking care of babies. Being a mother was all I ever wanted. And now I have done it (twice!). I don't really know what do without having a baby to take care of. It's who I am, and what I associate myself with. Patrick is getting so big so fast. And he seems to be so independant already.

Now before I have to hear a lecture...I know my two that I have already will continue to keep me plenty busy in other ways. I can already see how much emotional support and nurturing Grace is going to require. She is so sweet and intelligent...and sensitive. She's a little bit of a drama queen (wonder where she gets that from??)

And Patrick...well for now I spend most of my days protecting him from himself, ensuring he stays in one piece and convincing him that not every piece of food he encounters will scald him. He must have been a burn victim in another life or something, cuz that kid is scared shitless of heat.

So I guess the question remains...will I know when I'm really "done"?

Oh well...poor me. I guess I have to ponder this while sitting by the pool sipping margaritas this summer...cuz I won't be pregnant, SUCKAS!!!!

Sweet baby Jesus, I just remembered...I HATE being pregnant. There you have it...stay tuned, folks. This story ain't over. But don't worry, I'll keep you updated.