Ahhh, here it is. The season we all treasure: Flu/cold season...
Balls.
So last winter was pretty brutal for sickness in our house. Grace was spared mostly. But any little sniffle she picked up turned into a full fledge crazy nastiness that took up residence in poor little PBunk. That boy was sick more than he was well for probably the first year of his life. And we all paid dearly. ALL of us...like, including my neighbors.
So turns out, that whole theory about men being big fat BABIES when they are sick is true even when they are, in fact, babies. Let me ellaborate:
When Gracie is sick, she is totally mellow. I mean, yeah sure, she whines and is a little crabby. But for the most part, she lays on the couch, watches TV and really just wants to be left the eff alone (which is totally OK with me). Throw her a popsicle and fill her sippy cup now and then and you hardly know she's there. I never even knew when she was getting her teeth as an infant. One day I would just discover a new tooth in her mouth. That girl is tough. She is a hard core gangsta beatch...
And then there's Patrick...oh my sweet little Patrick. Now when Patrick is sick, in true male fashion, he is about to bring the pain to everyone around him. If he is miserable, you best believe you will be too. That boy basically crawls around wailing, whining, screaming and carrying on. Dear Lord...the carrying on!!! Now of course, if the midst of it all, I feel terrible. I HATE when my kids are sick (as I have mentioned a million times before). I feel awful and helpless and want to take away all their pain.
But in P man's case, I want to take away his pain, partly to relieve my own pain.
And when he was cutting teeth...literally people in the town over were well aware of the apparent torture that was happening inside his mouth. I am sure it pretty low on the fun scale to have a sharp object erupt through your gums. You would think evolution would have taken care of this predicament after gazillions of mothers have ranted and raved about being tortured by their teething babies. Come on, science. Or God...whoever is in charge of this stuff. What the hell??? Throw us a bone, would ya??
But I digress.
So today when I picked up Grace from school and the teacher told me she was complaining about a sore throat you can just imagine my reaction...
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Then I proceeded to talk myself down off the ledge. Here is the brainstrom that took place in my head :
"SHIT, FUCK, GODDAMNITALLTOHELL!!! Ok, maybe she just had a dry throat. Juice will help. I will have her lay low today and load her up with Tylenol and cure her. I wonder if it is safe to make her take 25 Flinstone vitamins? Would it be wrong to quarantine her? Her room is fun! And I would bring her food (obviously). She'd be fiiinnnne!"
Then I realized that with this being Grace's first year of preschool, I am pretty sure it is safe to predict that we are all going to be sick A LOT this winter. It's no use. We are doomed.
So I did what any rational person would do. I bought bulk of Purell and Clorox wipes. This momma isn't going down without a fight. Be warned.
